Well..well..
Guess there's no need for introduction here.
It just feel absolutely great to be back here. A space where once it is filled with all that's in me and it will always be.
With NuffnangX recently launched as an app not too long back, I could not have imagine myself typing out this particular blog post. The urge to just regained its momentum, slowly. Day by day, where technology is vastly evolving, one could HARDLY survived without a smart phone nowadays. Being a typical type of person, the keyboard of my MacBook serves me well, hence here I am.
There's so much that needs to be said here, but given that there's too much of it, it is practically all jumbled up screaming in my head, wanting to seek attention in every single way in this particular post. I just couldn't bear keeping it in me; trying to deny it, stow it away, ignore it or just not thinking about it. My personal opinion, you just don't need to explain to anyone what you feel or how you think of something for being afraid of being judged, but that's not where I'm heading to. It's to where it should be channel to, and recently, I found out the hard truth, even though, I would not want to admit that it is really happening as I type.
For once, I really want to be proven wrong, that for once, I'm thinking too much about it. There's too much that I had lost in the past, picking up the pieces as I head along, but this, I have NEVER ever see it coming. It is like a hit-and-run with no warning whats-so-ever. Where it is coming from, I had no idea but it is like a freight train where I'm being hit hard, so hard, that I dont want to wake up to face what's hitting me or how did it happened in the first place. Because I know once I do, there is no turning back. Now there's something you should know, I would avoid all possible confrontation (unless necessary!) despite of any given situation (unless it forced me to, then I had no choice). Well, as a matter of fact, I did and it was smugly answered and by assuming those answers, it didnt make me feel better but worst of. Defence mechanism put to test whereby I merely shrugged it off and knowing perfectly well it will come about to haunt me once more one fine day. So true, that I really want it to go away, all to go away. Just like that with a snap of a finger.
Take what you must but not this. Not ever. It is my pillar of strength for all these years and more.