..taking chances..

Ever again, the little thoughts in my head speaks more than my actual speech. Really frustrating. Just when Im about to shut my eyes, 'it' would creep out and start pestering me to think about stuffs that happened lately in which I decide to shut them up in reality. Rather than to face them and let them take its own course, they just wont go away.

Eveytime when the urge to blog is there, it always present itself at a VERY wrong timing. After a while, I end up not blogging (more to ranting or maybe sharing) and keeping those thoughts to myself. Sigh. Frustating isnt it?

Slowly in time, it all tend to pile up with none of it solved. Well, it is not something which I can resolve it at once but how I wish. Hmm. Guess Im already all grown up by now. Watched Twilight for the umpteenth time now but it always makes me feel indifferent and lots to think about. Remember that I mentioned before that I've had this quite unusual syptom of mine? Well, it just did. Just cant wait to watch New Moon despite having to read all four already. It just seem more lively to watch than to actually picture it in your mind as one reads on but I still do and very much enjoy reading.

A few more weeks to go and hello 2010. Hmm. Yet another year. Really do hope that whatever than Im going through in present to be on a smooth sail. I wish I could stay tough and strong as I used to be but I end up hurting more, becoming even more fragile. Things cant always go the way I want it to be but yet I believe with the willpower, I can and will achieve it. Yes, and that's life.

Its such a random post than I no longer find it necessary to connect whatever the content is. Those who read this might not get me but it's okay. Im just glad that you do bother to read part of me here. Let's just say, Im not trying to keep it from you but its just my way of telling it or simply just the way Im behaving lately. DO try to understand and assure me that I will always have your company which definitely means a lot to me. Confidence is something that I've lost lately. Therefore, it takes time.

On a happy note, Im finally going back home after 2 months since my last trip. I just miss home. A place where I can find solace. If only Grandma's still here.

This came through the mail..

1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings!
'YES'.. OK, BYE'.
She turns to her lover and says,
THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,...... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN

5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation
as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

7. Yesterday's News :- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

Just when she thought she has what it takes, reality checks in. Can it get any worst?
At this point of time, she really wish to be swallow up and stay that way in insolation. She may have put up a brave front all this while but that's who she is. People who knows her well do understand that she's actually as fragile as an egg.

People see me for who I am but I am not who they think I am.Coming to think of it, I really am not worth for what people credit me. All this while, I do believe I'll strive through it given that Im of late entry but I'm beginning to loose that part of self-confidence. It hit rock bottom. Hard enough to leave me totally numb of an aftershock, not knowing when she will see light again.

She may seem all good on the outside but doubt that it will be the same inside. Short to say, she's a walking zombie! Well, not exactly but close. She'll live but on a daily basis with an empty shell.

p/s: thanks hun for cheering me up with your post-clubbing story. huggles~
and cissy for her comforting shoulder when I couldnt hold it any longer
last but not least, I enjoyed 'camping' sweetie =)

..............
For a moment, I really have no idea how to begin this post with.
Lots of eating out within the past week, loads of pictures.
It was a really tiring & tedious task uploading previous post pictures!

So yeah, I'll probably sum up those events.
A good friend from college accepted a job over here. It was such a thrilling news to me especially. Yay! =) At least a friend-someone familiar. Im just glad that Boey's here. Well, honestly, I've never had so much of familiarity within me especially in foreign soil. Not that the boyfriend's isnt a good company but at least there's a balance to it perhaps? So, don't try to ditch me kay sweetie! *wink*

As Boey's new here, I played the role of a tour guide introducing her to Unique(ly) Singapore and not surprising, it was love at first sight for her ya. It was the same to me when I was here in the first place. Long story short, we had lots of makan outings. Pictures later ya.

And also, it's Auntie's birthday. Really nervous. So we had dinner at YumCha Garden in Serangoon Garden. Awesome. That reminds me of a long-overtime-due dim sum as promised by my dearly beloved boy. Hmm. Wondering when would that day be! =\

Oh oh. Christmas's around the corner too. It's that season again. Yay. But then what to get?
Sigh. Any hints from you hun? Sweetie? Never an easy task to get him pressie especially during Christmas. But I still do love Christmas. Huggles~

For me, its a pretty hectic schedule for me lately. Hopefully things goes my way. But of course with a strong determination and most of all motivation from myself! =) And moral support too.

WARNING! One of 'those' melancholy post.

As much as I was hoping, it was unevitable.
Pondered over a few entries back and realized that it's more mellow than all rosey.
I wish I could do more happiness.
But that's how it works now.

Within the next two months, guess there wont be much.
Piles of endless research, projects and exam.
Not till January. Sad? Well, too bad.
That's life.

Sometimes, you're left with no options
Or there is, but just that one doesnt want to choose?
Oh well, whatever reasons that is.
Go figure..
__________________________________________________________________
*she wish that she had a choice.
not to go through Christmas with projects, etc.
guess she's left with no choice.
but she'll figure something out.
probably home's the place.
she knows what and how it's going to be like.
which she alway ends up hearing people say "you're thinking too much!"
but she hates to be right even so.
she has nothing to hope for, just that.
simplicity works best for her but never ever comes that simple.
sigh. what else then?
no one's to blame here, but that's not how it supposed to be*